With the holiday season fast approaching, the shorter days seem packed with more to do than ever. Now is the time to create a strong foundation to support yourself as the festivities ramp up and, for many, start to feel overwhelming. For neurodivergent individuals in particular, crowded gatherings, hectic schedules, and endless to-do lists can turn the season from joyful to challenging. The principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help to navigate the holiday rush with a focus on balance and well-being. ACT provides six core processes that work together to help you lead a more values-driven life. Let’s apply these to the holiday season:
1. Acceptance
Acceptance means allowing thoughts and emotions to come and go without struggling against them, making space for them instead of pushing them away. During the holidays, you may experience all sorts of emotions. Allow yourself time to feel them. Just like seasons, it all comes and goes on its own, and your job is to remain flexible without letting your emotions get in the driver’s seat.
2. Values
Identify what truly matters to you, and use these values as a compass to guide your actions. Before the holidays begin, write down what is important to you. Do you value connection, health, gatherings, routine, solitude? By understanding what’s truly important, you can make decisions that reflect those values, rather than being pulled in many directions. This can mean choosing to spend more time with loved ones, or setting aside quiet time for yourself without feeling guilty.
3. Uncouple from Your Thoughts
Learn how to separate yourself from unhelpful thoughts by observing your thoughts without getting caught up in them. For example, if you think, “I need to make everyone happy,” try saying, “I’m having the thought that I need to make everyone happy.” This helps you see the thought from a distance, making it less overwhelming and giving you more freedom to choose how to act.
4. Present-Moment Awareness
This involves staying connected to the here and now, bringing mindful attention to your current experiences rather than drifting to the past or future. Avoid multitasking and instead be fully present in the activity you are currently doing with all your senses. This can counter the holiday rush and help you appreciate small joys, even if the season feels chaotic.
5. Commit to Action
Taking steps that align with your values helps to create meaningful experiences. Self-compassion is key, especially during hectic times when there’s often pressure to overdo. Having your values written down can help you decide what to commit to or where to draw boundaries if something does not align with you. If your value is generosity, for instance, you may find ways to give to others in a meaningful way rather than feeling obligated or stressed out about giving gifts. If your value is gratitude, you can build in time throughout your day or week to reflect on things you appreciate and express that to others. By honoring your values, you create space for self-care, allowing the holiday season to feel more balanced and aligned with what matters most to you.
6. Self-as-Context
Recognize that you are more than your thoughts, emotions, or life experiences— this fosters a perspective where you can observe these inner events with greater objectivity. This mindset allows you to engage in the holiday season with a sense of inner stability and acceptance, even when emotions are running high or stressful situations arise. Remember, you are the observer of your holiday experience, not defined by any single moment or emotion.
Neurodiversity highlights the uniqueness of each mind and how we all perceive the world in different ways. What might feel challenging to one person could be exciting for another. Embracing this perspective during the holiday season can help us balance our own needs while honoring those of others. By applying ACT principles, you can cultivate greater meaning, flexibility, and self-compassion, creating a holiday experience that feels more fulfilling and less stressful. As you embrace these practices, those around you are likely to feel inspired to do the same!
Wishing you all a very happy holiday season. My deepest gratitude to this community and our readers for their continued support of this column, you have all been such a blessing!
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